Derby: Don’t expect your kids to become race horses
Race goers must be familiar with Derby, a prestigious event for three-year-old horses run annually towards the end of the racing season.It attracts the attention of the racing world at large and a winning horse is a toast of this world.After the race, when the winner is brought in the paddock with a garland of green ribbon hung around its neck, covering its body with a cloth , letters “winner of the Derby--- year” done as a needle work design , the punters greet the winner with wide applause,with even those punters who had bet on a non-winner and lost, joining in the chorus. Months before the scheduled day for Derby the horses are groomed in which the owners, trainers and jockeys take lively interest, and these expensive horses, are normally flown from one racing centre to the other
As I was reading a front page story in Deccan Hedrald, relating to suicide of a IX standard student of Oxford English School, Church Road, New Thippasandra, Bangalore, my thoughts went back to the days I used to cover Mysore Races for Deccan Herald.What has Derby to do with this tragic teenager’s death,you may ask. For a good part, these two have similar traits. Since 1980s we have been witnessing a sea change in the educational scenario in the country.
Just as owners, trainers and jockeys groom their horses, with great expectations that their animal would win the Derby, the parents expect their children to score very high percentage, the teachers want their students to fare in the examinations in an exemplary manner so that their stock may go up with the parents standing in big queues for admitting their children in their school, unmindful of the donations they insist on. The third actor in this play,the employers who recruit students through campus interviews becoming the norm, are keen to have only the cream of the students. So much so, as in the Derby race, the parents, schools/ colleges and the employers expect all students to be Derby horses.
“Shi! 90 percent, see Ravi, Chandru, they have scored 96 percent.You end up being a glorified clerk, if at all you are lucky to get a Government job.Our dreams of seeing you as a doctor or engineer are shattered”,parents scorn.This discouragement , which starts from the house is carried on to school/colleges and to
campuses where interviews are conducted . It is natural that some young students tend to be disoriented, and with their natural instincts of play and creative abilities killed they become distraught and disillusioned and tend to take extreme steps.There are no grandparents to tell the children bed time stories and they are not exposed to classics, be it literature, or music. Sense of negativism sets in both parents and children, of course for different reasons.
This, I feel , was what happened to S Dinesh , who ended his life,leaving a suicide note, which explains the mental agony the young boy suffered. The Deccan Herald report says: “Darshan’s father Shekhar spoke reluctantly to Deccan Herald as he waited for the body at the Bowring Hospital mortuary.Darshan was obsessed with the school diary. Every day , the teacher used to pin-point only mistakes and never highlighted his plus points..Quite often , parents were called to meet the principal.On Wednesday too, when I asked about the diary , he said” don’t worry papa, I will put an end to this diary business.”.
As I was reading a front page story in Deccan Hedrald, relating to suicide of a IX standard student of Oxford English School, Church Road, New Thippasandra, Bangalore, my thoughts went back to the days I used to cover Mysore Races for Deccan Herald.What has Derby to do with this tragic teenager’s death,you may ask. For a good part, these two have similar traits. Since 1980s we have been witnessing a sea change in the educational scenario in the country.
Just as owners, trainers and jockeys groom their horses, with great expectations that their animal would win the Derby, the parents expect their children to score very high percentage, the teachers want their students to fare in the examinations in an exemplary manner so that their stock may go up with the parents standing in big queues for admitting their children in their school, unmindful of the donations they insist on. The third actor in this play,the employers who recruit students through campus interviews becoming the norm, are keen to have only the cream of the students. So much so, as in the Derby race, the parents, schools/ colleges and the employers expect all students to be Derby horses.
“Shi! 90 percent, see Ravi, Chandru, they have scored 96 percent.You end up being a glorified clerk, if at all you are lucky to get a Government job.Our dreams of seeing you as a doctor or engineer are shattered”,parents scorn.This discouragement , which starts from the house is carried on to school/colleges and to
campuses where interviews are conducted . It is natural that some young students tend to be disoriented, and with their natural instincts of play and creative abilities killed they become distraught and disillusioned and tend to take extreme steps.There are no grandparents to tell the children bed time stories and they are not exposed to classics, be it literature, or music. Sense of negativism sets in both parents and children, of course for different reasons.
This, I feel , was what happened to S Dinesh , who ended his life,leaving a suicide note, which explains the mental agony the young boy suffered. The Deccan Herald report says: “Darshan’s father Shekhar spoke reluctantly to Deccan Herald as he waited for the body at the Bowring Hospital mortuary.Darshan was obsessed with the school diary. Every day , the teacher used to pin-point only mistakes and never highlighted his plus points..Quite often , parents were called to meet the principal.On Wednesday too, when I asked about the diary , he said” don’t worry papa, I will put an end to this diary business.”.
posted by Krishna Vattam at
8:28 AM
9 Comments:
All this is because of the kind of public examination system we have in our country. Every one is critical of these examination system. But we as a society are not prepared to get rid of it. Every time I raise the point why we cannot get rid of it, even those who are critical are not for getting rid of it. We need to start a movement called people against public examination and put pressure on the system to rid of these examinations.
Bhamy V Shenoy
By
Anonymous, at 7:16 PM
I entirely agree with you sir, in fact I have been talking about it, posting about it since decades. Unless the attitude of the teachers change, parents will not change and unless the parents change teachers will not change. It is in this context that we need a good community based project to change. I am ready to be part of it, we will involve the parents teachers, we will start a community radio station for this only. We will evaluate the schools as per international standards. Perhaps it is the only field where quantification is not there, what a sad commentary of the state of affairs of this system.
We have grossly misunderstood the concept of learning v/s memory, teaching v/s guiding etc.,
Unless we have teachers who has passion, be sure we are here to see the worst days for education in India more so primary education.
Come lets make a beginning.
By
shanks, at 11:23 PM
When do we realise that while everyone wants his ward to be a Derby horse, the trainer as well as the jockey are equally important? To put it straight, when do we realise that it is not only the doctors and engineers who form a minuscule minority of the population who are helpful in building the society, but also millions of others also take part and are important in the society building process. This boy could have become a great musician or a sports person, or an artist or anybody else other than a doctor or an engineer and could have shone in the society. Alas! the greed of our parents knows no bounds. If every horse owner wants his horse to win the race, then each time only one horse can participate in the race that would be unthinkable.
By
Dr YNI Anand, at 1:21 AM
Having settled in the United States for over thirty years and bringing up my only daughter born here, I can certainly relate to your observations . Every child in my opinion has a unique talent. I think it is up to the parents to identify this talent and let the child build on this strength. In order to do that tremendous amount of encouragement and support are needed. Comments like great job, follow your dreams, we are here to support you, be the best you can be which we find so commonly used here is absent in most part in India. I believe your observations are indeed so appropriate to the present day Indian scene it is worthy of reading by every parent in India with a child.
B.R.Ramaprasad
GVK: Thank you for drawing my attention to Mr. Vattam's blog
By
Anonymous, at 8:35 AM
it is a rat race; where are all the rats reaching? do the rats know their destination?? no, nobody knows where they are all heading to. and nobody wants to be left behind and hence this mad, blind race. and they think they have won the trophy if they have a big bungalow, big car, the latest gizmos and what not. but do they ever sit and relax and enjoy what they have achieved - oh, how can they, when there is still so much to be hoarded! and what they could not get, their sons and daughters have to make up for that so that they can boast in front of their peers....... and by the time realization dawns that they were after all soap bubbles of various sizes and hues, alas, the drama would be coming to an end. only despair of having wasted precious moments of life in acquiring trophies that never gave them any peace of mind, but only were nooses that kept tightening and suffocating them.........
and we keep seeing, hearing of such nooses and yet do not stop our race. is not this the 'maaya' we are all caught in? only way to salvation is to surrender to the Magician to give us all the wisdom, to make us see, not just look, make us listen, not just hear, make us contemplate, not just copy.
thanks,
latha vidyaranya
By
latha vidyaranya, at 10:44 AM
I agree that the 'public examination' system in India contributes to the tragedy of the type described. The competition to get into good university and good course sets up the inexorable rat race. The 'Derby horse' mentality is very much alive and kicking in America. Here the race starts very early on in nursery school stage particularly amongst the Indian diaspora here! This is the ugly face of a competitive society.
I am reminded of a story told by the late GNB (G.N. Balasubramanian), who arguably invented a unique style of vocal music rendering. When at high school, his expressed his desire to
pursue his career in Karnatak classical music to his father who was also the headmaster. Taken aback by his son's 'strange' aspiration, he tried his best to dissuade his son from ' being condemned to a life of poverty' as he put it. Seeing his son's obstinacy, he gave in but only after exacting a promise that GNB should complete his BA(Hons) English Literature, before embarking on his chosen profession.
The rest is history.
By
Anonymous, at 3:26 PM
I do not totally blame the parents for creating aspirations. Even in my days in a secondary school not far from R.K.Narayan's house, teachers in that private school had their favourite students who they used to praise in the class as’ best future doctors or engineers’. My father, realising that I was not one of the recipients of the eulogy used get very much upset. Later, we discovered that the so called 'best future doctors' were kids from rich families paying fees to these teachers for private tuitions! There was heavy competition to get into the English medium of that school and needless to say that sons of these teachers who had no special intellectual abilities got in with no difficulty at all. This ’leg up process for teacher’s kids ’ has always been a pernicious practice in that school. In its English medium class, the pupils came mainly from one private primary/middle school. Only two of us were exceptions in the English medium class- our fathers were not teachers in that school, neither we were from that private primary/secondary school. While I did not care for the adoration of these teachers- I received none, my friend who was of weaker mind used to get very much upset, and once he thought of taking his life. Timely intervention from one of his elder brothers prevented a tragedy. This friend did very well in his secondary exam, came with me to study engineering and later went on to become a very successful entrepreneur. When we met one of the teachers a few years later, needless to say that he was surprised to hear about our achievements. He said to us we were not that bright in our school days ( our fathers were not rich enough to engage him for private tuitions!) and he put our achievements down to sheer luck!!
By
Anonymous, at 4:29 PM
favouritism happens not only at schools by teachers, at many homes too there are parents who favour one child over the other, a grand parent favouring one particular grand child over the other based on their intelligence or smartness or evn complexion! and unfavourable comparison starts. people think that they are motivating the child by doing this kind of comparison, but many a times this leads to lot of emotional trauma for the child. yes, there are resilient lot among children who take this with a pinch of salt and take it up as a challenge to show to the world what they can achieve. but unfortunately, most of the times the receiver is a very sensitive child who goes to the extreme of committing suicide. hence parents need to be more sensitive and understanding and supportive of their children and their interests and abilities and not follow "one-size-fits-all" policy.
latha vidyaranya
thanks to sri GVK for referring me to this article.
By
latha vidyaranya, at 4:56 AM
I know of an instance where a 1st standard student of a reputed English Medium Public School in Mysore has to write every day 20 pages in one subject alone. His handwriting looks horrible. Neither the teacher nor the parents have any understanding that the child has just started writing and this would be too strenuous for his tender hands. How could he learn? It also means that the boy sits up doing his homework till midnight. Isn't it killing his love for studies? At that age, learning should be fun, not an exercise. I feel both parents and teachers should understand that once a child learns on his own, he can make amends on his own also. Excel on his own also. Of course, there are some unfortunate kids with natural learning disabilities. Teachers should also be trained to identify such kids and counsel parents accordingly. Kids too have thier personalities. For some kids like Darshan, a stern glance itself is enough. No corporate punishment is required? How do we teach teachers all these in these days of capitation fee education colleges?
By
Alemari, at 11:03 PM
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